“Alright, just let me get something clear: You’re angry at me because you failed the recent assessment?”
“It’s your fault I failed!”
“Which part was my fault? The part where you cheated, or the part where you wagged on the catch-up day where you could, conceivably, have legitimately redone the parts you cheated on?”
“It’s your fault!”
“Well, I suppose in so far as I figured out that you were cheating, yes, it was. However, to move on: you’re now going to punish me by not working, is that what’s happening here?”
“You deserve it!”
“I’m sure I do, but exactly how is you failing your exams going to punish me?”
“But it will make you look bad to have all of your students fail!”
“It probably would, but I feel I should point out that you not doing your work won’t actually result in all of my students failing – just one.”
“Well, it will still ruin your reputation!”
“If I cared about my reputation, do you think I’d have this haircut?”
“Shut up!”
“Touché.”